I have bipolar disorder and PTSD.
How does music help?
It really depends on the mood and whether I am listening or writing music.
When I am depressed
I will listen to jazz or the blues. Oddly listening to the blues cheers me up. Maybe hearing about all of BB King’s woman problems makes mine seem like nothing. Or maybe, it is the familiar cadence and 3 chord progression that cheers me.
When I am anxious
I listen to meditation tapes on my Insight app. There are different ones with gongs and chimes to stimulate deep breathing and clearing of the mind. This is relaxing and calming to me when I feel anxiety.
When I am manic
I listen to classic rock. I just want to be a rock star.
When manic, I gain creativity and energy.
I spend a lot of time writing music, poems and stories. Writing occupies my mind and that is a respite from the racing thoughts going through my brain.
When I’m writing music I am relaxed, focused, and happy. The same for writing poems and stories, it makes me happy.
A friend of mine once asked me “Why do you write music?”
I said, “I guess to be understood.”
I want others to relate and understand my music.
I published an album that tells my story:
Name of album: Bipolar420
Title song: How do I leave me? (lyrics here)
[bipolar, depression, ptsd, suicide are all touched on in this song about my journey and some of the mistakes I made along the way]
Kandy Crush [bipolar hypersexuality]
Every little thing [mania, psychosis]
Living on broken dreams [depression, addiction]
Papa’s soul food kitchen [addiction – out at 3am to get a fix from your dealer]
Smokin MaryJane [mania, hypersexuality, addiction]
The music can be played for free at bbqdad.bandcamp.com