For me the worst of it involves being out of control feeling extremely high, being a chatterbox spewing endless thoughts that are racing through my brain.
The racing thoughts are all over the place and don’t relate to each other, constantly flipping back and forth and making me sound like an idiot. Kinda like being on cocaine or meth.(I know from experience)
This is my mania.
And speaking of drugs, that is part of me indulging in risky behaviors which include drugs, alcohol (sober 3 years), driving wrecklessly (140 mph down a long road), having multiple sex with strangers in seedy hotels (threesomes with women or men) and various other dangerous practices.
Then comes the crash. Joy sucking, lifeless, sad, unworthy feelings. It feels like, I’m ready to go to the grave and sometimes I have tried. I generally sleep 18 hours a day staying in bed days at a time and not showering, wearing the same clothes everyday.
That is my depression.
Watch this animated video from TED Talks about what is Bipolar for an overview. It is pretty good, I watched it again cuz it has some good ways of showing the difference between mania and hypo-mania as well as depression.
If you think this is you or you have been already diagnosed then please follow me and share this with other friends and family members who need to know.
Leave a comment so I can hear your story and we can connect to find relief.