I never sleep alone. I sleep with my guitar.

Willie Nelson. Period.

What do you say about someone as prolific an icon as Willie.

I want to be him.

And in some ways I am.

But I will never be Willie Nelson.

I will be me but I sure as hell love Willie Nelson.

I have several music legends that I aspire to and are music influences. But Willie is different. It more than just his 50 years of play-list unending On the Road gems of songs. It more than just his lyrics.

It is Willie.

He is the brand. His personality and his heart are what drew me to him as a 17 year old sneaking into a 6th Street bar in Austin Texas in 1977. You could drink at 18 back then, but I wasn’t 18. So I faked like I was the dishwasher and came in the alley door. I put on an apron and started to fill the sink.

That’s when I heard it.


17 times in one night.

Since that night and now 40 years later I still love to hear Whiskey River.

I have two guitars. One is at my mama’s house and one sleeps with me.

Jolene is my Washburn 6 string guitar, that is missing the G string. I could of had it fixed but it makes a kinda unique sound that I like on some songs. So not so melodic but more of a harder twang. (picture later)

Spot is my 1970 Ventura (Gibson design made in Japan) a numbered series. I learned how to play this guitar in Kentucky from a pig farmer that played the banjo. This is the one that sits in New Braunfels, Texas at my mama’s house. It’s going to cost me $350 to ship it up here to Alaska. It cost $100 in 1970. (picture later)


I was 14 working on the family farm in Kentucky. Tobacco and Cows. That was all we know. But 30 acres of tobacco base and 120 milk cows and a few bulls and steers was the livelihood and lifestyle for three families. We are talking Northern KY just near Lenoxville. About 45 minutes south of Cincinnati and 45 minutes north of Lexington. it was a 250 acre farm with mostly bushes and trees and hills. All the places that a young active COW-DOG would love to explore.

Yep. My nickname was COW-DOG cuz my job was to scout out and round up the cows every day for milking time.

But at age 14

I found something that became the obsession of my life for the next 45 years.

Farm Girls.

It was at the Grange for a non-alcoholic square dance. i didn’t drive a truck but I drove a Ford 2000 tractor the 5 miles down the road to the grain feed where the dance was.

walking in the door fresh off the boat from Texas I spied the prettiest girl in the world.

She knows her name.

I said, “Hi, I’m Lance from TEXAS!”

That was all it took. We were best pals. She was 17 and had a truck. I said i got a tractor.

That summer I learned about the three things that are still the best part of my life.


Yep. I went down on the farm. Specifically the stripping house at the old barn up the road. it was raining hard. no beans to snap. i ran all the way in the rain following the hollow across a hill.

She was already there. A hayloft with fescue salted down hay. it was warm. a steel roof made the raindrops sound like atomic bombs. I had shit on my boots so i took them off.

She had already taken off her shoes and pants and was just standing there with a long shirt for a night-gown. i never seen anything like that ever before in all my life.

Oh my a flower of such sweet proportions and a bean. flower and bean.

That all she said. Flick the bean and Pick the flower. And whenever we wanted to meet up or say something like I love you and want to make love to you all night. we couldn’t just say that or aunt and uncle might catch a clue.

So we just said, want to snap some beans. Yeah i love flickin bean.

And that is how i learned how to go down on the farm. Hence my first EP is called and all about learning oral sex on a 17 year old hillbilly girl in KY. i was 14. now i wasn’t gonna be playing ball with the boys anymore.

Now I’m in Alaska wishing i was on the farm.


Today is ONE YEAR since I sold everything I have in life in the way of possessions and moved to Alaska. I moved to Alaska to become a AK WRITER. Aug 2018 I produced my first music EP called Going Down On The Farm.

Someone asked me why didn’t I move to Austin just one hour away. I mean that is besides Nashville a Country Rock Blues mecca. That is where all the professional musicians and recording companies are located.


There are over 1000 Willie Nelsons and 500 Stevie Ray Vaughns in Austin Texas.

In Alaska I am the only one.

Also, I have mental health problems. I am bipolar with PTSD. One of the best cures for PTSD is weed. Smoke Weed in Austin sure. But keep it to yourself or you go to jail.

I moved to Alaska to become a writer that smokes weed. Another moody musician that smokes weed. That is what Bipolar420 is all about. Google it. #bipolar420 and see what you see.

I have been single for 10 years now and I like it.  I just met a remarkable woman from Moscow that loves me for me.

So while for the last 10 years I have slept with Jolene. Soon I am going to have to put the guitar by the side of the bed and make room for my girl.

That is me.

That is why I play music.

I play music so i can flick bean.

And someday soon I won’t be sleeping with my guitar. i be flickin bean all night long.

Here BTW is Willie Nelsons story of his guitar “Trigger” my hero.

Maybe that’s it. Willie got trigger. i got Jolene, Spot and Bean. (my girlfriends nickname is bean, she calls me Santa Boris)

Song Lyrics: One way ticket to a heartache

Hey hey here is a song I wrote for you!! Kisses and hugs one day everyday every all-nighter long

She’s a one way ticket to a heartache

She’s a one way ticket to a heartache

One way ticket to love

I’m betting she’ll go a running

When I knock upon her door

But when she said I love you

That’s when I

gave everything I got

For a one way ticket to a heartache

One way ticket to love ❤️

Now she’s a cam girl model

She’s my every wet dream

When she’s lying on her back

I’m frikin flicking Bean

I’m paying all her rent

I’m giving her my all

Cuz I spent my heart ❤️

And went backrupt

Trying to live

In her dreams.

Got a one way ticket to a heartache

One way ticket to love 💕

Now I’m landing on a runway

Down in Bucharest

And my pants and heart are burning

My brain is all fucked up

When Red steps on the tarmac

Ain’t anybody not goin know

That she’s her own woman

But she’s everything I got

She’s a one way ticket to love ❤️

Cuz her Love is a fever

And I must find release

Cuz all she’s gonna get

Is everything that’s me

Cuz she’s everything to me Red Wild 🍒 Cherry

And I’m going all in on a heartache

I’m going all in on ❤️ love.

Keep Love Alive! Save Salmon, Save Our Dreams!

Without Us There’d Be No Salmon

Any One Of These Had A Dream of True Love 💕

Hi, I’m Lance Ghost Merrick (posted by niece Amy Jo) and I’ve got a love story with salmon.

when I was a lad of 38,

I had a long distance relationship. Texas to Alaska. She said she was a moose princess. I believed her as she believed I was an oil man. (I was an oily man from changing oil and brakes as a part-time job during college.) But I got some scratch together and got on a plane. Luckenbach, Texas where ain’t nobody feeling no pain. Then the drive to Austin in the old ford truck. Jumped on a jet and skipped to Denver, Seattle and Anchorage.

stayed at the mush inn.

merrill field guy said he was a pilot of a Cessna of some type high wing prop with a healthy cargo area. Pretty small if you ask me 8 people cramped it up. Funny someone had a rifle between their legs on the plane!

bristol bay! here we come thru hill and dale mountains and what not to Dillingham.

saw some browns fighting over diapers at the town dump. Kinda like a drive-in movie only to the bears our white and brown bodies was like a concession stand for them. I say that when mama and cubs ran by the truck panting heavy breathes taking 4 foot strides. I was terrified. Betty just lit another cigarette and cracked open the window!

Any One Of These Was Heading Home 🏡

next day got in a way smaller plane and flew to kolignek. Junior brought plane gas in a drum pulled by a four wheeler to the gravel runway.

grandma had been on the traffic talking to the pilot and lining things up for landing and refueling.

then there with blue jeans and some kinda smock mid drift with colorful patches apparently handmade was my moose princess.


It hit me the fever but not able to be spawned yet.

Sweat lodge. Then splash in icey cold water. Yeehaw the fever was gone. But the moose princess was smiling big.

junior told me grandma called me “Cha-guy-AK.”

“huh?”, I queried.

the Snow White owl. Spiritual sentry, the guardian of the path to The afterlife!

at least that what I thought he said.

”wow I’m pretty kewl” I said “a guardian of the path”

”naw grandma don’t call you white owl because you are kewl.” He snickered.

”she calls you guardian because you are the whitest thing in the woods!”

”hahaha”, I knew then if the cousins and elders were joking about me I was in.

i married my moose princess and I moved to Alaska.

bada bing bada boom.

Any One Of These Didn’t Make Their Date

the story could have taken a different slant had the process of building airplanes was as loosey goosey as the free styling permitting process dealing with industry and salmon habitat.

Really all habitat.

yes a plane designed and built with no open process could fly but might fall.

planes don’t bounce on impact like the cartoons. I would have been a moose turd on a hot tarmac in the summer of 42.

(writers comment the dates, names, ages have been fictionalized to protect the true Alaskans of the Bristol bay fishing meca.)

Any One Of These Died Alone

it is not a surprise to see a lot of dead salmon that don’t make it to their spawning grounds.

it is the cycle of life. Yet the few that do replenish and seed the field of the next generation of boys and girls itching to run to the ocean and later lovesick with no desire to feed. Just one thing in their brain and a body engorged in blood. Fearlessly swimming thousands of miles times thousands upon thousands of bachelors and brides. Racing to the church on time on cue.

Any One Of These Could Be Me

i learned later there wasn’t a church wedding for salmon and they were kinda promiscuous just looking for egg.

egg must be like bean.

cuz I flew for one date with a moose princess

And what would have happened if the icey waters I splashed in had been soiled and polluted with acid and chemical runoff in high concentrations beyond imagined expectations?

i would have burned my pickle and the smell of bacon fat from a white beer bellied Texan would have lead me straight to the path to the afterlife. Cha-guy-AK.

just shoot me now to see my moose princess with sweat dripping down graceful paths to promised land and then to yank it from my grasp!

maimed scorched disfigured I would be looking for an AK47.

no bean for me no pickle for her

no spawn,

no life

no more me

no legacy ever

my proud name ended in shame.

all for what?

pennies? Copper? Gold?


i don’t see any money?

i just see bean and egg.

”you’re telling me chimed in the red devil I had snagged as it squirted past but not quite making it”

so I let him go!

he put on some after shave that smelled like skunk bait and jetted up stream leaping tall rock laden spillways climbing higher and higher!

bear paws scrapped the waters. Rod and lure beat the eddies. Fish gates and counters clocked in the valiant champions straining for the prize.

then the sight.

pebbles and current with nestled eggs by the millions.

Target acquired and a quick strafing run of ❤️ love sauce clouded crystal clear fresh untarnished ph balanced wedding bed.

”if the honeymoon was going to be after coffee, then it looked like they where skipping the coffee!”

Please I beg you to save yourselves.

Dont’t throw away your dreams for some pennies and gold.

Keep Love Alive!


Save Salmon, Save Our Dreams!


Without Us There’d Be No Salmon

I’m pretty sure that doing nothing will kill Salmon.

But it not jest about fishing 🎣 and it’s not about the sportsman thing. Yeah sure a billion dollar tourist industry comes in to play.

No 1

I finally had my come to Jesus moment today in Hope Alaska.

I FARMER #BeTheFarmer

That’s right.

My name is Lance Ghost Merrick and I’m reporting barely alive in Hope, Alaska!

I farmer. I was born Farmer.

I was driving tractor when I was three.


1963 Harlingen, Texas

That’s right south Texas where the palm trees blow and we had a cotton farm.

And down on the farm we grew up tough!

Tough as nails give em hell.

And here is my best friend SPOT.


But it wasn’t long before I was dreaming of bigger and better things than being a farmer.

Is there anything that is better than farming?

How about being an astronaut?


Or how about a cowboy?


That’s my daddy. He is a cowboy see his black boots?

And that is Smokey my other best friend. He loved peanut butter and jelly sandwishs. That was how I broke him and that when I became a cowboy!

I am a COWBOY but I farmer too!

And those my two sisters Shawn and Kesha. It been 50 years and we still close and help each other.

People On the farm help each other.


What about cowboy don’t you understand?

I guess it wasn’t Willie that made

me want to be a cowboy.

It was my daddy.


Smoky and I blazed the acres and acres of cotton fields back home.

There are BOOKS about me and Smokey but that is another chapter.

“Oh those old cotton fields back home.”


2008 and I farmer still.

Yeppers when I got older about 14 I was sent to a concentration camp in Kentucky. It was called Uncle Leo’s farm.

He farmer too!

Lexington, Kentucky was 45 minutes south of the farm.

We worked from 4:20AM in the morning and did’t hit the hay til 11:30PM at night. Usually after watching a ball game. Cincinnati Big Red Machine eating ice cream!

But the rest was work. Hard Labor. No Pay.

Then at age 14 I discovered THREE things that became the obsessions of my LIFE.


  1. Grandpa made whiskey in a still and I got a pint a week.
  2. There was a tomatoe plant that did’t grow tomatoes and it a weed. But you could smoke it.
  3. Farm Girls

Farm Girls became the obsession of my life. #OnlyFarmGirlsAllowed.

Whether I am an astronaut or a cowboy ONE thing still is true.

I farmer.

Be the farmer like me!


#BeTheFarmer #OnlyFarmGirlsAllowed

Please follow me and I will teach you farmer.

I will show you all the reasons why being a farmer is better than anything in the world.

‘cept farmgirls.



And please check out my band website. – It almost like Willie but not quite.

Willie Nelson: Amsterdam LIVE

I just decided that on Sundays I would post a live video of music legends that have influenced my life. Period.

Because I met and smoked a joint with Willie Nelson in 1978 In Austin Texas and later in 1990 on a Golf Course in California.

I owe this to Willie Nelson:

I smoke weed

I released a music album August 2018 Going Down On The Farm

I can sleep at night after hearing the Red Headed Stranger Crooner sing me nite nite.


I am not afraid to be different.

I am 58 and just starting my professional music career 40 years after that 1st meeting with Willie Nelson.

Next UP?

I would like to collaborate on an original song with Willie Nelson by December 2020.

It will have something to do with providing food to the world via a remotely deploy-able food in a box farm.

Yes iFarm a box that grows food automatically anywhere in the world. Period.