Hypomania isn’t the fun superpower it seems: this is how it feels on the inside

A typical hypomanic episode For me, it starts in my chest…well just a bit lower. What I suppose you’d call my core. It begins as a ball of energy the…

Hypomania isn’t the fun superpower it seems: this is how it feels on the inside

Im born free

Free from trauma and heartache. Free of bias. Free.

Now that Im retired I have captured that freedom. My new AT&T networked phone has allowed me to take my music and my writing on the road.

Before I had to stay home and hope that I got a signal on my Verizon network. Mostly it was a roaming signal and 3G. But that was enough for me to reach out and do a FaceTime or make a phone call to talk my kids. It took a while but I had a satisfying relationship with both of my daughters for a few years.

Then something happened. I don’t know exactly what but both of them have decided not to talk to me.

It has been a few months now. A grand baby that I haven’t seen has been born. I feel out of the loop.

I can understand that they can’t be around me and my rockstar lifestyle. To them it seems like I tripped mania and it reminds them of the time I left them.

I had to deal with that mistake and forgive myself. Now my door and my channels are open for either of them to communicate.

In the meantime, Im building a vibe tribe. 5 people that I talk to daily and keep supported through whatever. I just started so I don’t have the 5 yet. But I have one. No maybe two.

Two people to talk to through the winter will drive away the blues.

Speaking of blues. It is cold and dark and depressing in Alaska during the winter. Isolation is the norm.

Because of the depression and alcohol abuse there is a high percentage of suicide.

I am trying to do something to prevent suicide in me by building up my vibe tribe.

To launch the search for my vibe tribe I am declaring August 3rd as MENTAL AID 2022. A day to vibe on mental health.

I am a poet

Verse #1

Your RV woke me as you pulled in next to me

how could I know you would be my friend.

Campfires and kisses and songs from the heart,

Morning coffee we shared our troubles and wants.

Chorus

I am a poet just so you know

I write whats on my heart of love and woe.

I can’t imagine your pain or grief

I just hope you get through and find some relief.

Verse #2

Your kids are well mannered and smart as a whip.

Definitely loved and taught to respect.

Although I know you’ll never love again.

I hope in time we share coffee again.

Chorus

I am a poet just so you know

I write whats on my heart of love and woe.

I can’t imagine your pain or grief

I just hope you get through and find some relief.

Verse #3

As the years went by and the kids grew up.

No one at home, no reason to cook.

Although I know you’ll never love again

I’m still standing here beside the road

with my coffee cup in my hand.

Chorus

I am a poet just so you know

I write whats on my heart of love and woe.

I can’t imagine your pain or grief

I just hope you get through and find some relief.

Fini:

I am a poet

I am a poet

I am a poet

And I wonder, Could you love me?

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