Peanuts: the Doctor is In

Charlie Brown can not get rid of the kite-eating tree. It was consuming his joy.

Is something consuming your joy?

That is a lot of how bipolar disorder feels. Like a joy eating monster took over your brain. The euphoria of mania can make us forget about the soul-crushing grip of depression that will return during a crash. But this lasts only as long as the manic episode lasts which could be several weeks or months.

I told my doctor that I was hypomanic during November while writing my book. But for the most part I was productive and getting enough sleep. But after I completed the goal and with the Christmas blues, I was feeling down and sad.

I felt like having even mild manic and depressive episodes would merit a med bump.

Rather than deal with my sad or manic feelings, she picked up that I was writing a book. She said she wanted to read it and that she was proud of me.

That made me feel better about myself and validated about having a writing goal.

If you like me are dealing with living with bipolar then let me know. I’m here to listen. The Doctor is in.

How I met my girl at a Willie Nelson concert.

This is a direct excerpt from the book ‘Falling in Love with Bipolar” where Amy Jo and Lance first meet

I could see people lighting up and smoking joints. It smelled of Willie weed. That was 30 years before Willie Nelson actually started a brand of weed called “Willie’s Reserve”.

But I went up to a girl that was smoking and gave her a shy smile. She passed me the joint and I took it from her happily.

A​fter a couple of long draws I passed it back to her.

“​What’s your name? Mine is Lance”, I asked her.

S​he took a long draw and held the smoke in for what seemed like a minute, but was probably only 10 seconds. Then she coughed and blew out the smoke tapping the ashes on the ground.

“​Amy. Amy Jo is my name, nice to meet you Lance”, she said and then smiled.

E​d came over and pulled out his bottle of Jim Beam and took a swig, He held the bottle out to Amy Jo and asked if she wanted some. They traded joint for Beam.

W​e must of hung out and chilled to the music for about 5 Whiskey Rivers which was about 2 hours. (They played other songs between but this one I remembered.)

A​my, Ed and I were feeling no pain cuz we were like in Luckinbach Texas in our minds. The weed and Beam were tripping us out, and we swayed to the music.

I came closer looking at Amy and said, “I think you need a hug.”

She said, “I think I need more than a hug” and she came closer and kissed me. Right on the lips. I smiled, paused and then leaned in and gave her another long slow kiss with hints of Beam and weed on my tongue. Her arms grasped me and her right hand held on to the back of my neck.

We were necking in the park, and I was high as a kite.

Take Me [Erotic Poem]

Take me
When morning dew
Beads up on heated skin

Blind fold me
Under birch trees
grassy patch for pillow

Bind me
With cords
Around tent stakes

Tease me
With spring sprung ferns
Amid falling cottonwood

Grab me
hair pulled tight
Coaxing gasping breath

Spank me
Red blush revealed
And quickening heart

Spread me
Soaring eagle
Under blue sky

Trust me
Yielding
Yet not breaking

Thrust me
Unleashed passion
With wild abandon

Take me
Hold me
Love me

How Do I Stop Me?

Babette lunged at me and grabbed my hair. She pulled me into the wall then I tripped over a chair and went down to the floor. She was on top of me and had her hands around my neck. I was having a hard time getting my breath as she squeezed harder. I tried to roll away from her but she was too strong and heavy.

I thought for a second that this is it. This is how I go out. I tried the pills and I couldn’t do it right. I needed help. Maybe it was supposed to be Babette. A jealous crazed bipolar psychotic bitch from hell. This could be it, do I want it to be it?

I still felt pretty low, sad and worthless. I fucked my Dad. I was going to sell myself to a Senator. I screwed customers and jerked them off for tips.

Am I ashamed? That is the thing I liked it. I liked it a lot. I’m outta control.

How do I stop me?

This is a direct excerpt from the book “Falling In Love with Bipolar”

A story about two college freshmen that fell in love and the roller-coaster ride their relationship takes because Amy Jo is Bipolar420 Girl.

Enjoy the first chapter here —>>BOOK

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