I’m BbqDad and I have bipolar disorder with psychosis. I will be raw and vulnerable exposing myself to possible ridicule and anxiety. But I’m courageous to share so that someone will not feel alone and choose to live. Then we can use our network to extricate them from their nightmare. #womenincrisis

Why did I want to cut myself?

One day when I was feeling really sad and flat like I didn’t feel anything, I decided to cut myself just a little.  The first time, I was scared. The razor was sharp. I cut the pad of my thumb. I felt a sting when the blade sliced it’s way past my fingerprint. There wasContinue reading “Why did I want to cut myself?”

Edging Santa [poem]

Edging SantaBeyond timeBeyond dreamsThere’s a momentThe camera seesThe camera seesA naked meDripping dropsFrom hair unteasedBlood warmed skinKissed by arctic windForce open poresTo close againFragrant scentIn Flower holeMoist and wetFrom depths belowA Misty poolConcentric ringsDancing wavesTo life flow synchedJust a flickJust a tingleHot spring wokenBy one fingerJust a dripJuicy moistSweet sweet wineOn lips to tasteShotgun smokeInContinue reading “Edging Santa [poem]”

Lights Out

I was a freshman at the University of Texas in Austin. I had met a girl named Amy Jo at a Willie Nelson Concert 3 weeks prior and was going to meet her to hang-out when she got off work. T​hat is where this adventure begins… -​—- A​my worked at Bikinis which was a SportsContinue reading “Lights Out”

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